* hey kid, how's it going.
* beautiful summer we're having, huh. birds are singing... but you've heard this already, haven't you?
* glad you decided to read my page. i mean, there were 912 to choose from. i'm truly honored.
* now, to the point.
* undertale is an indie jrpg that lots of people have called "cancer".
* i don't really agree with that specific insult, but, i mean, you could probably play some earthbound hack and get the same kind of experience. so maybe the name-calling is warranted.
* undertale is basically the ultimate in plagiarism. it stole the field gameplay from the mother series, action commands from touhou, and the entire script from homestuck.
* it's also a very short game in general.
* that's all pretty lazy, in my opinion. not that i'm one to talk...
* undertale was branded as a game where no one has to die, but there are actually hundreds of paths based on your decisions throughout.
* i'll keep things simple for now. there are three main routes to the story.
* if you don't kill anyone, you'll get a happy ending where your best friend shows you his original character on deviantart.
* if you go out of your way to murder everything, i'll show you this glowy eye thing. the fans seem to think i do it all the time, though. man, just thinking about that battle makes me tired.
* oh yeah. but if you don't go to either of those extremes... i guess i could give you a phone call or something. least i could do, kid.
* battles in undertale are pretty standard bullet hell fare. you get to dodge enemy attacks in between attempts to spare or kill them.
* you can spare every monster, but i won't bother convincing you to. if you've got your heart set on killing everything then who am i to stop you, heh heh. i've seen it all before.
* and i'm sure you have, too. it is, what, August of 2017 now?
* but just humor me here, okay? i'm getting paid if i can finish this spiel.
* so. actually attacking enemies is kinda lame, though. it's just a basic timing minigame that the bullet hell segments try to distract from.
* the game's soundtrack isn't too impressive, either. just the same couple of melodies over and over. existing songs slowed down a lot, sometimes. but hey, at least it made it pretty easy to write my music.
* well, thanks for reading. i have to go back to selling hot dogs, now. i'll see you around... maybe sooner than you expect.
* hope you have a bad ti... i mean, a good day. sorry. force of habit.