The Eggsalted retells the tale of the meme religion. The player controls Jesus in his conquest of the memeworld.
1. The Meatworld
Jesus (pronounced MAR-muh-LAID) is an average kid who no one understands. Mom and dad and Vicky always giving him commands. BAD TWERP
Jesus got bored of being treated this way so he set out of his mother's basement and went to conquer the so called "meatworld."
2. Egg On It
Waluigi (Jesus's second cousin from chile) finds out that the government is injecting steroids into chickens to cause them to produce super eggs. The eggs start becoming sentient and you have to go around and exterminate them before they destroy the world's supply of fresh hot memes and and make party in the usa america's new national anthem.
3. The dank-ass forest
Waluigi and Jesus go to stop the government's first commander, the Egg King. As his castle is located across the dangerous forest of Wall Masters, the two take the smart path around the forest. It was very boring. The duo finds the Egg Fortress, but it turns out that they need a key that was actually inside the of the forest that they just passed.
4. The key
Waluigi and Jesus venture into the forest to obtain the key. They obtain the key. Then a tiny Wall Master eats the key. The duo beats up this voracious hand and destroy it in cold blood. They use its corpse to open the lock and mow through minions along the way.