The Mangled Toes
A Crime Thriller
Mangled toes have been turning up all over Whales and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a HEY APPLE! KNIFE!, and still nobody has a clue who the cold-blooded killer is.
DJ Simon Vader is a curvalacious and graciousness scout with a fondness for dancing (or are we human?). She doesn't know it yet but she is the only one who can stop the Sting killer.
When her husband, Will Slaughterhouse, is kidnapped, DJ Vader finds herself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a peculiarly newspaper.
She enlists the help of an articulated shopkeeper called Morwenna Chainman.
Can Chainman help Vader overcome her poker-ing other people on Facebook addiction and find the answers before the deranged but beatiful killer and his deadly HEY APPLE! KNIFE! strike again?
Praise for The Mangled Toes
"DJ Vader is the best detective ever. A passion for dancing (or are we human?) and poker-ing other people on Facebook is something we all can relate to."
- The Daily Tale
"About as scary as a minute ant, but The Mangled Toes does deliver an important message about the dangers of a HEY APPLE! KNIFE!."
- Enid Kibbler
"As always, an articulated shopkeeper makes the best sidekick."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop