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Easter, also known as National Egg Day is a holiday celebrated by several people across the world, often without knowing the actual reason why it is to be celebrated. It's pretty great.

Origin

Easter came into being when Jjjjjesus finished up his and Waluigi's spiritual quest of frying every single bad egg in the universe. Once he succeeded, he found himself stuck on the planet Uranus, which has a funny name and is basically a giant blue space fart. Saddened that he was now stuck on a gas giant with Waluigi of all people. So he dug into the earth and found six things: cabbage, a rose, a lone sock, a lamp, a baguette, and a table. Jjjjjesus used these objects to construct a flying robotic reconstruction of Alomomola, and flew all the way to Space Cuba.

When resident janitor and Chicken McNugget Shigeru Miyamoto uncovered this story in the year 1731, he decided to erect his favorite drink all over the calender on a date that he would randomly choose via a Super Smash Bros. match. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of anything to wear on this occasion, so he decided to make a giant sock out of iron.

And that, Jimmy, is how your shoes came into existence!

The Easter Bunny and his eggs

Everyone's favorite furry friend Arend got tired of his Lopunny waifu and instead decided to give birth to a new one. So he gathered all of the world's onion rings, put them all in the kettle, cooked for exactly five minutes, melted the remainder, and carefully seasoned with tears of Daisy fans to create a little piece of paper that we like to call "the MegaSex Pineapple."

Inside of the MegaSex Pineapple, there was a rectangle. The rectangle is unimportant.

The Easter Bunny started out as a mascot for the cartoon "Spengrob's Trousers." He went around complaining about how things were better before all of the world's eggs were fried and how kids have it so much easier now. Here is one of his speeches, now.

"You frickle fracking pickle fricking do-doing blaspheming rapping rainbow-coloured lazy obese Chinese American Canadan Mexican't kids don't know HOW easy you have it these days! Back then we didn't have radical 'space keyboards' or 'orchestral music' to play while we flew about burning all of the eggs! Back on Easter in my day, we all had Easter Egg hunts - with actual eggs! We didn't have prizes in them, we were just lucky to have an egg on the ground that actually was edible! I would teach you flipping flopping flapping flupping flepping flypping kids a lesson had I not been confined to this rotten daughter's house. "Stop jumping out of windows, dad" she says. I'll show you. I'll show you all"


"Dad, I- I thought I told you to stop jumping out of windows. Must I remind you of euthanasia /again?/"

He never really took off, however. He mostly just upset kids more than anything. So eventually, he was cancelled. Then, in 2049 A.C.E., he got picked up for a reboot on Kickstarter for $100000000000000000. And thus, we got reintroduced to our great pop icon that we know today.

Trivia

  • Easter is actually named after Miyamoto's favorite sport, Eastern Hemisphere Eggnamics.

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